Storm-Area 51-They-Can't-Stop-All-of-Us-Facebook

 

So you decided to join the Facebook group of 2 million internet people storming Area 51 to get answers on extraterrestrial intelligence. Like 90% of the people that signed up, you are pretty serious about going but you don’t’ know where to get started. Well, you came to the right place.

The US Air Force strongly recommends you not attempt to break into their highly classified military base, telling The Washington Post that it “always stands ready to protect America and its assets (aliens). Remember, “They can’t stop all of us.” According to the event’s description, the plan is to: “Meet up in rural Nevada and coordinate our parties. If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens!”

Now that you took the days off and are planning your trip, you going to need some tips on how to make this a successful rescue of extraterrestrial lives. Luckily we have the guide you’re going to need to make it happen.

 

WHERE TO STAY?

With 2 million people showing up, one of the big problems that remain is figuring out where to stay. Rachel is a small town with a population of 54, mostly surrounded by abandoned ghost towns and open desert. There is only one Inn in Rachel, Little A’Lle’Inn, and it’s completely booked. The nearby towns are also already fully booked with occupants.

 

little-a'le'inn-rachel-nevada

 

So plan B, get your camping gear ready because your unused tent is going to be home base and shelter for a couple of days. The event organizers of Alien Stock Festival suggest camping out for the event in Rachel to enjoy the music, arts, and activities planned for the weekend.

If camping with a bunch of conspiracy theorists isn’t your thing, another option is to book a hotel in the Las Vegas Strip and just commute to Area 51. It’s not a bad idea to enjoy some luxury and gambling before a raid. Getting to Rachel from Las Vegas is about 150 miles of driving and will take you less than three hours to get there. The journey on the Extraterrestrial Highway is full of several museums and points of interest to help pump you up before the raid. Keep in mind that Rachel’s only gas station actually closed many years ago, so make sure to fill up your Hummer in Alamo, NV, which is 50 miles away.

 

extraerrestrial-highway

 

WHAT TO PACK?

Organizers of the Area 51 raid came up with a list of Essential Gear that alien truthers will need to storm the top-secret US base.

  1. UFO Hunting RV- It’s going to be important to stay mobile and be able to get around easily.
  2. Safety Helmet- As you already know, your FBI agent feeding you online ads already have access to your brain. The only proven way to prevent that is making a helmet out of tin-foil paper to block the rays.
  3. Woobie- It’s pretty hot in the desert during the day, but at night it can get pretty cold out there. A military-issued blanket is essential for staying warm. It can also be used to “swaddle any aliens you rescue from captivity” according to military.com.
  4. Thermal Imaging Camera- The raid is happening at night, so you going to need some effective equipment if you plan on saving E.T. AliExpress offers some cheap Infrared Thermal Imaging Cameras, if you order now you might be able to get it in time. Just don’t let the Chinese government know what it’s for.
  5. X-Files Tattoo- THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. No better way to prove your commitment to the mission than a Fox Mulder tattoo.
  6. Flock of Drones- The plan for raiding Area 51 is to distract the soldiers with a swarm of loud and annoying drones while others storm the gate.
  7. Burial Insurance- self-explanatory.

 

area-51-raid-essentials

 

WHAT TO EAT OUT THERE?

While I’m sure your mom will pack you some lunch, you’re still going to need a lot of fuel to help boost your energy for the raid. Luckily your favorite sandwich place, Arby’s, announced on Twitter they plan on bringing meat to Area 51. Arby’s isn’t the only brand helping raiders on Sept 20th. Budlight tweeted they are offering free beer to any alien who “makes it out” of the compound. If they are the first brand to formally announce they are not sponsoring the Area 51 raid, then why did they release a special edition Area 51 beer? I have my own conspiracy theories on that.

 

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Now that you have the essential guide to Storming Area 51 make sure to have fun out there. Whether you find out the truth or not. Godspeed.

 


If raiding secret military bases or joining a Frye festival-like events is not your thing, make sure to check out our article on Extraterrestrial Attractions in the US.